My family and I adopted a modest way of living years ago. We came to the conclusion that excessive clutter in our house was costing too much of our money, time, and energy.
We set out to sell, donate, recycle, or clear as many of our non-essentials from the house as we could. That was among the smartest choices we have ever made
We discovered a whole other universe open to us when we started clearing the "stuff" from our existence. We discovered that we had more time for the things we truly prized.
We now spend more time at the dinner table, go longer walks as a family, and have been able to save money for some worthy events—like a weekend at the beach, for instance.
Eliminating the non-essentials has let us concentrate more on the foundations. And we have realized that actual life resides there.
Usually, our marriages travel the same path.
When we first have nothing except each other, we pay close attention to the key elements of a successful and happy marriage. But as our partnership moves on, "stuff" starts to gather and starts to divert our attention from the very core of what makes a great marriage.
We suddenly pay more attention to the assessment value of our house than to the value of our relationship. We examine the state of our retirement account far more frequently than we do the state of our marriage. Alternatively, we spend more time in the garage maintaining the automobile than either other person in our bed does.
Things start to pile up in our houses and life and soon call for our money, time, and attention. We so have little left over for maintaining the very components of a successful marriage.
Smart couples understand that although a good house, car, or retirement account may seem great to have, their marriage suffers. They know that far more fundamental ideas are involved here.
They now know to devote their time, money, and efforts on the eight foundations of a strong marriage:
1. Dedication/Love.
Love is really a choice to be dedicated to another person. It is far more than a passing feeling as seen on romance books, TV, and movies. Though emotions come and go, a real commitment to be committed lasts lifetime—and that is what distinguishes good marriages.
Making the decision to be committed through the highs and lows, the good and the terrible is marriage. Commitment is simple when things are running well. True love, then, is shown by staying dedicated even through the challenges of life.
2. Sexual Faithfulness
In marriage, sexual commitment transcends our bodies to embrace more. It covers also our eyes, head, heart, and soul. We give up sexual faithfulness to our partner when we fix our attention on sexual fantasies about someone else. We give up sexual faithfulness to our spouse when we offer moments of emotional intimacies to another.
Guard your sexuality every day and give it totally to your partner. Sexual faithfulness needs both understanding of the consequences and self-discipline. Refuse to put anything in front of your eyes, body, or heart that would call for compromise of your faithfulness.
3. humility.
Everybody has flaws; partnerships usually expose these flaws faster than anything else on planet. A strong foundation of a good marriage is the ability to own your imperfection, your faults, and your need of forgiveness. Having a superiority attitude toward your partner will cause bitterness and stop your relationship from developing.
If you find yourself struggling in this area, grab a pencil and fast note three things your spouse does better than you—that little exercise should help you remain modest. Continue as often as required.
4. Forgiveness/patience.
In a marriage, forgiveness and patience will always be needed since none of people are flawless (see #3). Effective married couples learn to be always patient and forgiving of their mate. They humble themselves and do not demand perfection from their relationship; they own mistakes. They do not raise past mistakes in an attempt to hold their mate captive.
Furthermore, when mistakes happen they do not try to atone or exact retribution. If you are clinging to a past pain from your lover, forgive him or her. It will release your connection and heart from constraint.
5. Time.
Relationships cannot survive without time investment. Never have, never will not be Any great relationship calls for deliberate, quality time spent together. Moreover, quality time hardly occurs in the absence of quantity time.
The closest and most deep relationship you have should be that of yours with your partner. As so, it will take more time than any other connection. Arrange daily time for your partner, if at all possible. And occasionally a date-night wouldn't hurt either.
6. Integrity and confidence.
In a good marriage, honesty and trust become the cornerstone for everything. Unlike most of the other basics on this list, trust takes time though. Though trust takes time, you can be unselfish, dedicated, or patient in a second. Trust develops only over weeks, months, and years of being the person you say you are and following your stated values. It takes time; start now because, should you have to reestablish trust in your relationship, you will have to work even harder.
7. Exchange of ideas.
Couples in a healthy marriage talk as much as they can. They most definitely talk about children's schedules, shopping lists, and utility bills. Still, they are not stopping there. They also transmit hopes, dreams, worries, and concerns. They talk not only about the changes the child is experiencing but also about the changes their own hearts and souls are undergoing.
Since honest, direct communication forms the basis for so many other things on this list—just to name a few—this vital key cannot be disregarded.
8. Unassuming behavior.
Though it will never show up on any survey, selfishness is the main cause of more marriages ending than any other. Though most of these reasons are selfish, surveys attribute responsibility for most of them to finances, lack of commitment, infidelity, or incompatibility. A selfish individual displays no tolerance, is only focused on themselves or herself, and never picks up skills necessary to be a successful spouse. Give your lover hopes, dreams, and life. And start to live together.
Nora Hazel
My family and I adopted a modest way of living years ago. We came to the conclusion that excessive clutter in our house was costing too much of our money, time, and energy.
We set out to sell, donate, recycle, or clear as many of our non-essentials from the house as we could. That was among the smartest choices we have ever made
We discovered a whole other universe open to us when we started clearing the "stuff" from our existence. We discovered that we had more time for the things we truly prized.
We now spend more time at the dinner table, go longer walks as a family, and have been able to save money for some worthy events—like a weekend at the beach, for instance.
Eliminating the non-essentials has let us concentrate more on the foundations. And we have realized that actual life resides there.
Usually, our marriages travel the same path.
When we first have nothing except each other, we pay close attention to the key elements of a successful and happy marriage. But as our partnership moves on, "stuff" starts to gather and starts to divert our attention from the very core of what makes a great marriage.
We suddenly pay more attention to the assessment value of our house than to the value of our relationship. We examine the state of our retirement account far more frequently than we do the state of our marriage. Alternatively, we spend more time in the garage maintaining the automobile than either other person in our bed does.
Things start to pile up in our houses and life and soon call for our money, time, and attention. We so have little left over for maintaining the very components of a successful marriage.
Smart couples understand that although a good house, car, or retirement account may seem great to have, their marriage suffers. They know that far more fundamental ideas are involved here.
They now know to devote their time, money, and efforts on the eight foundations of a strong marriage:
1. Dedication/Love.
Love is really a choice to be dedicated to another person. It is far more than a passing feeling as seen on romance books, TV, and movies. Though emotions come and go, a real commitment to be committed lasts lifetime—and that is what distinguishes good marriages.
Making the decision to be committed through the highs and lows, the good and the terrible is marriage. Commitment is simple when things are running well. True love, then, is shown by staying dedicated even through the challenges of life.
2. Sexual Faithfulness
In marriage, sexual commitment transcends our bodies to embrace more. It covers also our eyes, head, heart, and soul. We give up sexual faithfulness to our partner when we fix our attention on sexual fantasies about someone else. We give up sexual faithfulness to our spouse when we offer moments of emotional intimacies to another.
Guard your sexuality every day and give it totally to your partner. Sexual faithfulness needs both understanding of the consequences and self-discipline. Refuse to put anything in front of your eyes, body, or heart that would call for compromise of your faithfulness.
3. humility.
Everybody has flaws; partnerships usually expose these flaws faster than anything else on planet. A strong foundation of a good marriage is the ability to own your imperfection, your faults, and your need of forgiveness. Having a superiority attitude toward your partner will cause bitterness and stop your relationship from developing.
If you find yourself struggling in this area, grab a pencil and fast note three things your spouse does better than you—that little exercise should help you remain modest. Continue as often as required.
4. Forgiveness/patience.
In a marriage, forgiveness and patience will always be needed since none of people are flawless (see #3). Effective married couples learn to be always patient and forgiving of their mate. They humble themselves and do not demand perfection from their relationship; they own mistakes. They do not raise past mistakes in an attempt to hold their mate captive.
Furthermore, when mistakes happen they do not try to atone or exact retribution. If you are clinging to a past pain from your lover, forgive him or her. It will release your connection and heart from constraint.
5. Time.
Relationships cannot survive without time investment. Never have, never will not be Any great relationship calls for deliberate, quality time spent together. Moreover, quality time hardly occurs in the absence of quantity time.
The closest and most deep relationship you have should be that of yours with your partner. As so, it will take more time than any other connection. Arrange daily time for your partner, if at all possible. And occasionally a date-night wouldn't hurt either.
6. Integrity and confidence.
In a good marriage, honesty and trust become the cornerstone for everything. Unlike most of the other basics on this list, trust takes time though. Though trust takes time, you can be unselfish, dedicated, or patient in a second. Trust develops only over weeks, months, and years of being the person you say you are and following your stated values. It takes time; start now because, should you have to reestablish trust in your relationship, you will have to work even harder.
7. Exchange of ideas.
Couples in a healthy marriage talk as much as they can. They most definitely talk about children's schedules, shopping lists, and utility bills. Still, they are not stopping there. They also transmit hopes, dreams, worries, and concerns. They talk not only about the changes the child is experiencing but also about the changes their own hearts and souls are undergoing.
Since honest, direct communication forms the basis for so many other things on this list—just to name a few—this vital key cannot be disregarded.
8. Unassuming behavior.
Though it will never show up on any survey, selfishness is the main cause of more marriages ending than any other. Though most of these reasons are selfish, surveys attribute responsibility for most of them to finances, lack of commitment, infidelity, or incompatibility. A selfish individual displays no tolerance, is only focused on themselves or herself, and never picks up skills necessary to be a successful spouse. Give your lover hopes, dreams, and life. And start to live together.